Tony Costarella

My name is Antonio, better known as Tony Costarella. I'm Aurelio's brother. My dad was the first to come to Australia. He left my mother, who was pregnant at the time with me, and my five-year-old sister, Gracie. He left us in Calabria to start a new life in Australia. When he arrived, he had trouble finding work and ended up in Brunswick where he was picking potatoes. And then he decided to buy a ute and travel to the country and start land clearing. By 1960, he'd saved enough money to pay his debts and pay for a voyage for his family to come out. I was four years old at the time and had never met my dad.

Our early years in Australia were quite difficult for us, especially for mum. She was on her own most of the time, looking after the family. she'd be making clothes and she'd be on that sewing machine day and night sewing clothes for us to wear to school. And then in 1964 Aurelio was born and the first little Aussie joined the team and my sister did a lot of the work because my mum suffered from depression. She was taking antidepressants during her pregnancy with Aurelio. She had electric shock treatment sometime later.

So Aurelio was quite reserved. He didn't like a lot of fuss. And I remember when my cousins used to come to visit, he'd quite often go and hide in his room. And so the boys would run around the house looking for him and then finally drag him out and then it'd be okay. They'd start playing because they were all about the same age. So that was that was nice. The other memory I have is when Aurelio was four we bought a TV black and white with rotary dial and we were just totally amazed with this thing.

When he finished primary school and my mother wanted to send him to the school that I attended which was Christian Brothers High School in Highgate. Having been there I couldn't see that Ray would survive that place and I did everything I could to convince mum that that was not the right place for him. We decided that it was probably best that he go to Mount Lawley High. Christian Brothers was really a school where they only taught the academic subjects and there would be no opportunity for him to pursue his creative skills.

I have this vivid memory, I was married at the time and we'd go and have our family meal and so on, then sit in the lounge room and Aurelio would spread all his books and pens and pencils on the floor and sit cross-legged in a meditation sort of pose and be watching soap operas while studying and I couldn't understand how he could actually watch TV and study at the same time but it didn't seem to affect his grades. And then he decided that he was going to do architecture.

He did two years but during that period he also started designing clothes for himself mainly and then was asked by others to make bits and pieces for them and then he realised he could probably turn that into a money-making exercise. He'd be studying and then at night our dining room table would be turned into a cutting table and he'd be cutting out clothes and he'd buy clothes and just break them down basically so just to work out how they were manufactured. After two years of university he had to tell mum and dad that he was quitting to pursue fashion. I do recall that that didn't go down very well at all.

Aurelio was someone who was very gentle. I never recall him raising his voice. He was very loving. He loved his family and his friends, of which he had many. And he was generous with his time and belongings, and he was also very spiritual.